Here I Am Again

Well, so much for trying to stay motivated to write! :/ Sorry everyone!

A brief update since I don't have much time to do a full post until later today:

• Will be completing a 5th year of college, so not graduating in May :( kind of sad, but yet glad it's happening this way as well.
• Auditioned for the Ohio Light Opera orchestra - hopefully getting that phone call this week!
• Still the nursery leader at church

I spoke again with my bishop a few weeks ago about going through the temple for my endowment, and now I'm waiting to hear back from the Stake President. Lets hope that this is the time! If he says yes, I'll be going to the Columbus Ohio Temple to receive my endowment on May 12th during the 12:30pm session :) It's our ward's temple day, so a lot of people I wanted to be with me when I was endowed will already be there - a win/win situation! :)

a meeting with the bishop

Well, I've finally heard back from our Stake President about going for my endowment. The bishop met with me in his office last Sunday (the 10th) and we had a good talk. President Talley thinks that I am ready, but would feel more comfortable if I would wait just 9-12 months more before he'll let me go without any question. The Bishop had known the answer for almost a month, but was having a difficult time figuring out how to let me know so that I wouldn't be upset, as he knows how much I really want to go. I put up a good face for the rest of the meeting, but once I got in my car to begin the drive home, I broke down. I have been wanting this so much, and I felt for a few moments like I was purposefully being kept from the temple just because I wasn't either getting ready to be married or going on a mission. I was a little depressed for the rest of the day, but as I climbed into bed and was laying there relaxing, I had a thought. I wasn't being told that I was not allowed to go or was being kept from going, in fact it was the complete opposite. They are letting me go! I can still go to do baptisms and confirmations for the dead, and can begin participating in the rest of the temple ordinances in just 9-12 months! I was also given more time to be able to do a few more things, like lose weight, run a 5K, finish learning how to sew so I could possibly sew my own temple dress, etc. I felt a little more at ease. I do sometimes get a little sad, but try to think about the positives and keep moving forward.

So, that's where I'm at now. It's not the optimal place I was hoping for, but I'm here, and that's what matters, right? :)

Back Once Again

Hmm...I guess I need some kind of permanent fixture attached to my body or something to remind me that I actually HAVE a blog :D Sorry guys!

So far, life has been fairly good this summer. I'm still looking for a job, and it's almost the middle of July, so it looks like the chances of getting one before I move back onto campus before Band Camp starts are quickly dwindling. We've also been having issues off and on with my car, which is never fun. Right now, we're going to be needing a new muffler, the engine and transmission coolant flushes, and to see why my "check engine" light keeps coming on. Yuck!!

Church has been going well also. I met my 2 year anniversary on June 20th/21st, which was exciting. Right now, I'm now the Nursery Leader and also the ward's Young Single Adult Representative to the Akron OH Stake. I'm truly blessed to have both callings, and to also be a Visiting Teacher to two wonderful ladies. I'm still not used to doing Visiting Teaching, and one of my major weaknesses the past couple of months is making sure that I actually REMEMBER to do it, but it's a good thing that the ladies are forgiving. A really good thing, haha. I've got some great ideas in motion for this month's little kit I'll be giving to them with the message and everything, which will be somewhat of a challenge. It's on coming to the temple and claiming its blessings. The first sister I teach is older, married/sealed in the temple, and is also the ward's temple coordinator!! I think when I go to see her, that it'll be more a visit discussing the blessings that the temple offers, what role they play in our lives, and how we can always keep the spirit of the blessings and covenants that we make with the Lord within those walls with us at all times. The second sister I have is a cute lady. Her and her husband are also coverts to the Church, joining a short time after I was baptized. He currently holds the Aaronic Priesthood, and they both have different callings in the ward. They have not yet been through the temple for their Endowments and to be sealed to each other. This one will be a little easier for me to handle, that's for sure, but I know it'll have its challenges as well.

I've been feeling a bit down the past couple of days. The YSA Branch in the stake is going to the Hill Cumorah Pageant this Friday and Saturday. I've been doing everything I can and making the sacrifices I had to make in order to go. However, it now appears that I'm not going to be able to go after all. Since my car is having such issues, I don't feel comfortable driving it that far away from home in the event that it would break down and I'd have to be towed. So far, no one from the branch is able to come pick me up that morning: the Senior Missionaries that teach CES Institute classes, the Branch RS President, and the Elder Quorum's leaders all have things they have to be at the Branch to do immediately before we leave, so they can't come get me. No other YSA in my ward are going, and I don't think that the ones from the nearby Ashland Branch are going either. I've contacted Ward Family and have offered to provide compensation, but nothing yet. I've even looked at taking the MegaBus to NY and then just finding a way to get to Palmyra, and getting back on the MegaBus to come back to OH - but the bad news is that I'd have to get to Akron for that as well. I'm just super frustrated right now...the past year or so, especially the past couple of months, I've done a lot for people and have cheerily assisted them without any expectation of help in return and without asking any questions, but now that I'm in need....I'm left all alone. It hurts. It hurts a lot. But I know that I just have to pick myself up and keep going and be grateful for what I do have. But...just...for once, I'd like to scream out at the top of my lungs and ask WHY????

The family situation with me and Church life has ALSO been slowly improving, for which I really am thankful and blessed for. The exact way things have come to get better is saved for a different post, just since it is such a delicate situation and it'd take a lot to explain, but my mom and I had a good conversation, and the result is I'm now able to go to Church and other Church-related activities without too much issue, just as long as I'm a little more forthcoming and tell them where I'm going...and mom's agreed to keep the questions and giving-me-crap to a minimum. I'm FINALLY starting to be able to relax a little, which has been so.darn.nice. It's also enabled me to be more supportive of my mom as she gets ready to start taking confirmation classes for the Catholic Church, or RCIA, in September. While it's not exactly what I want, I still have to be happy and give her my support. Who knows, maybe even one day, we'll be able to go to each other's church once a month! :)

Well, enough for now. I've felt like I've written a book as it is. Plus, I need to start cleaning in the kitchen and finish up what I started in both of our bathrooms here at home. Until later!! :)

Whoops :D

Ahh...so I totally forgot about this blog - shame on me!!! But I think that it'll be good for me to keep up with this summer, especially to keep in touch with those people I won't see for a while. That, and for my own uses.

What's new:

-new flute!! purchased a Haynes Classic Q1, and it's amazing! I love it so much!

-soon to be finishing my junior year of college

-enjoying my job at the library

-coming up on my 2nd year anniversary of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!

-and more that couldn't possibly be listed :)

Today marked the first day of final exams with my flute jury. Tomorrow I'll have conducting, music history, and choral methods. Wednesday is another free day! (minus cleaning and packing :/ ) Thursday will mark instrumental methods, class brass playing exams, and then the playing of my final project for music tech. Throughout the week I'll also be working at the library.

Right now, I'm on the summer job hunt. I was basically guaranteed a WooCorps position with the library, but then I ended up being passed over. So I scrambled to contact the remaining departments, and everything ended up filling up. Now I'm prowling the classifieds and any store windows I can get my eyes and hands on. Not only do I really just need the money in general, I need to pay for the summer class I'll be taking over at the University of Akron - Wayne College in Orrville. Nearly 1k doesn't exactly just fall out of my ears on command.... ^_^

That's about it for now. I'm getting ready to walk back to my room and beginning some intensive studying. Wish me luck!

on a new path

looking to change the way things are going...who knows where things will go...

july visiting teaching done!

i did it! i finally completed my Visiting Teaching project for July! they'll be dropped in the mail by tuesday to my sisters i visit teach. take a look :)

I'm already starting at ideas for this month's message, which is on a subject that I'm particularly interested in and love - the temple! But, I'm going to take a break for a week or two before I start it LOL.

hot days of summer

sometimes i feel like i'm an ice cube melting...ehm, rather vaporizing, away in Death Valley. this humidity is absolutely insane! but yet i want to move to florida or out west to Utah, or someplace similar..what am i thinking sometimes??

i'm currently awaiting the arrival of one of my newest toys - a Garmin GPS! i've been refreshing the page for the last couple of hours, and it still says that it's "on truck for delivery." over 4 hours...and the depot where it's coming from is only 1.45 away!! i want it NOW!!! :D going to keep my fingers crossed that it comes by the time i have to leave for my evening class. a plus i just found out today, is that i can download an app to my Garmin to go geocaching! that's going to be so much fun! has anyone done that before?

one big thing that's happened recently, is that i received my patriarchal blessing on June 19th, the day before my 1st anniversary of being a member of the church. go here to see a review of my baptismal day, along with pictures, if you're interested. since i've been a member of the Church, here are some things that have changed in my life, and most importantly, changed who i am - for the better:

1. I truely have faith in the Savior and Heavenly Father
2. I've gone to the temple three times, soon to be four or five, to perform Baptisms for the Dead. I cannot wait until the day when I can enter into the House of the Lord and receive my endowment, then perform and help my ancestors receive those same blessings.
3. I feel as if I have a real purpose for my life.

and the list goes on...more will be added to this post later, but for now...back to work! :(

this is life

i've been faced with a couple of big challenges and trials lately in my life, from my car to financial worries, and even a situation at Church.

but i realized today, that no matter what happens, as long as i keep leaning on and using the Atonement of Jesus Christ and do my best to endure to the end, things will work out just fine. i just have to keep going and not give up when i'm feeling lazy or afraid to do something. i will be blessed for all the trials i have to go through.

and this made me realize something else: life is good :)

update on the car

well, it turns out that not only was the head gasket bad, the actual head was cracked and missing small pieces :(

but, on the positive side, it ended up being 1300 dollars to be repaired and i'll be picking her up tomorrow morning/afternoon!!!!

back to the grind

today was the first day back after my four-day weekend. my car is still in the shop, unfortunately. turns out the head gasket went out. they'll be checking to see if the actual head is cracked. if it's just the gasket, then it'll only be 800 parts and labor. if the head is also cracked, it'll skyrocket to 2200-2300 bucks....precious money neither my mom or i have...

classes have since ended, and summer commenced. boy am i glad this year is over with!! the last part of this semester was very stressful. things aren't that much better either.

on my way home from attending a couple of graduation parties, my car started to break down, and i barely coasted into Wirt's Towing in Moreland, which is about halfway between Wooster and where i live. we're praying that it's not the engine, but instead the fuel pump (or whatever my grandma said) X_X or something even less than that....

i ended up being hired for the summer through the College's summer work program. i work in our main library, which has been very interesting but nice and enjoyable. we're working on shifting some materials to different levels, which will continue on through the coming academic year. looks like it will be really nice, and a lot more logical than our current arrangement!!

this summer i will be taking a class through the University of Akron's Wayne College campus. it's three days a week (TWTH) from 6-8:15p, then on TTH's i have lab from 8:25-10:25pm. it sounds like it will be very exciting!

sorry to be cutting this short, but i'm very tired and need a nap. maybe i'll even end up just going to bed early, who knows!

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FTSOY: Gratitude

"He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious" (D&C 78:19).


The Lord wants you to have a spirit of gratitude in all you do and say. Live with a spirit of thanksgiving and you will have greater happiness and satisfaction in life. Even in your most difficult times, you can find much to be grateful for. Doing so will strengthen and bless you.


In your prayers, before you ask for blessings, pour out your heart to God in thanks for the blessings you have already received. Thank Him for your family, for friends and loved ones, for leaders and teachers, for the gospel, and for His Son, Jesus Christ.


You can also express gratitude to the Lord by the way you live. When you keep His commandments and serve others, you show that you love Him and are grateful to Him. Express appreciation to everyone who helps you in any way.


Luke 17:12-19


*Laura's thoughts and reflections*
this to come later after i've had more time to think about it! lol

FTSOY: Agency & Accountability

"Wherefore, men...are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death" (2 Nephi 2:27).


Your Heavenly Father has given you agency, the ability to choose right from wrong and to act for yourself. You have been given the Holy Ghost to help you know good from evil. While you are here on earth, you are being proven to see if you will use your agency to show your love for God by keeping His commandments.

While you are free to choose for yourself, you are not free to choose the consequences of your actions. When you make a choice, you will receive the consequences of that choice. The consequences may not be immediate, but they will always follow, for good or bad. Wrong choices delay your progression and lead to heartache and misery. Right choices lead to happiness and eternal life. That is why it is so important for you to choose what is right throughout your life.

You are responsible for the choices you make. you should not blame your cirumstances, your family, or your friends if you choose to disobey God's commandments. You are a child of God with great strength. You have the ability to choose righteousness and happiness no matter what your cirumstances.

You are also responsible for developing the abilities and talents Heavenly Father has given you. You are accountable to Him for what you do with your abilities and how you spend your time. Do not idle away your time. Be willing to work hard. Choose to do many good things of your own free will.

Matthew 25:14-29 (scriptures at the end are also good reference points)

*Laura's thoughts and reflections*

I've come to learn that Heavenly Father gave us agency, the ability to choose for ourselves right or wrong things, in order for us to learn to always choose the right things that will help us return to heaven and to His presence in the life to come. However, agency isn't necessarily about good 24/7. With agency comes the ability to choose things or situations or what have you that can harm us, both physically, mentally, and spiritually. Another key role in this gift, is that of accountability and being responsible for our actions and choices, and being able to suffer the consequences whatever they may be, whether positive or negative ones.

Like it states above, we were placed here on this earth and given the gift of agency by Heavenly Father as sort of a test, to see whether or not we would be able to use it in order to choose good things that show the love we have for God by obeying His commandments. He did this for us so that we could be happy and not have our progression hindered by having to live through agony and dispair and unhappiness. Would you want to waste such a precious gift as that by making choices that hurt you and in turn make Him hurt? I wouldn't!

Accountability runs through the principle of agency like blood does through living beings, it goes hand in hand. We are accountable for every single thing we do, say, think, and believe. We are held accountable for how our time is spent, whether in idleness or in earnest hard work, and also in how we cultivate our many talents and abilities that we've been granted, in whether or not we develop them to their full maximum potential or whether or not we just don't act like we care. He made each and every single one of us in a unique image of Himself with individual talents, strengths/weaknesses, abilities, and circumstances that are apart of Him. By not wasting our time and talents, and instead working hard and developing the gifts we've been given, we are again using our agency to make the right choices and show God and Jesus Christ how much we love and care for them.

new idea

i haven't been particularily active in posting here, so i think i've figured out a good idea of something to do that will help me keep this more regular, and therefore more interesting.

the Church has a pamphelt aimed at youth, but can be used by members of any age, called For the Strength of Youth. it contains standards, or guidelines rather, that help us to make the right choices and live our lives in such a manner that will pave the way for us to receive many blessings, including being worthy to go to the temple. they also help us to make good decisions and choose the right things to do and in act that will enable us to return to our Heavenly Father.

so...i've decided that i will discuss each section or mini-chapter of this booklet every day, along with my thoughts on what it means to me, etc. this is going to be my little mini project for the next 3 weeks :) wish me luck!

The Love of God

This talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf was...just...amazing. I've copied and pasted the first part of it here. Check out the link for the rest of it. It was so inspiring it made me cry!


The Love of God
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf Second Counselor in the First Presidency

Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is continually growing and becoming better known throughout the world. Although there will always be those who stereotype the Church and its members in a negative way, most people think of us as honest, helpful, and hardworking. Some have images of clean-cut missionaries, loving families, and friendly neighbors who don’t smoke or drink. We might also be known as a people who attend church every Sunday for three hours, in a place where everyone is a brother or a sister, where the children sing songs about streams that talk, trees that produce popcorn, and children who want to become sunbeams.

Brothers and sisters, of all the things we want to be known for, are there attributes above all others that should define us as members of His Church, even as disciples of Jesus Christ? Since our last general conference six months ago, I have pondered this and similar questions. Today I would like to share with you some thoughts and impressions that have come as a result of that inquiry. The first question is:

How Do We Become True Disciples of Jesus Christ?
The Savior Himself provided the answer with this profound declaration: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”1 This is the essence of what it means to be a true disciple: those who receive Christ Jesus walk with Him.2

But this may present a problem for some because there are so many “shoulds” and “should nots” that merely keeping track of them can be a challenge. Sometimes, well-meaning amplifications of divine principles—many coming from uninspired sources—complicate matters further, diluting the purity of divine truth with man-made addenda. One person’s good idea—something that may work for him or her—takes root and becomes an expectation. And gradually, eternal principles can get lost within the labyrinth of “good ideas.”

This was one of the Savior’s criticisms of the religious “experts” of His day, whom He chastised for attending to the hundreds of minor details of the law while neglecting the weightier matters.3
So how do we stay aligned with these weightier matters? Is there a constant compass that can help us prioritize our lives, thoughts, and actions?

Once again the Savior revealed the way. When asked to name the greatest commandment, He did not hesitate. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,” He said. “This is the first and great commandment.”4 Coupled with the second great commandment—to love our neighbor as ourselves5—we have a compass that provides direction not only for our lives but also for the Lord’s Church on both sides of the veil.

Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk.

When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden.



http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1117-7,00.html

i'm back!

i was a seriously busy little girl this summer and early fall! not that obvious by my severe lack of posting, isn't it? :P

life has changed quite a bit these past couple of months. i finally received my first calling in early September! i'm now a Primary teacher, where i'm co-teaching the Sunbeams class. they consist of our 3-4 year olds. so far, things have gone fairly well. one day when the other teacher wasn't there, and it was my first full lesson to teach, i almost had a breakdown...one of my Sunbeams was having a difficult time listening, following directions, etc. at one point, he grabbed ahold of the container of crayons, grabbed handfuls, and was throwing them up into the air and thereby hitting the ceiling as they were raining down!! but so far things have been going pretty well ever since then. i'm starting to really enjoy it. one of the lessons i'll be teaching very soon is on music!! YAY!!!!!!! that will be awesome. i'm already starting to make plans for it :)

the missionary who baptized me, elder henrie, was transferred out towards the end of august. the elders we have now are still elder cardenaz and now elder jensen. they are the most hilarious pair together! they've also worked to start a family home evening with us every monday night. it's a great thing to look forward to, especially when you have some difficult moments during the week. family home evening is a night each week that Latter-day Saint families spend together to grow in the Gospel and just enjoy spending time with one another. families can be loosely defined as is in our case here at college :P

lets see.....what else is new? classes are going ok so far. i'm really trying to stay on top of my grades and homework and everything so i can get a decent boost in GPA. i've had a few minor mess-ups in German, but that's nothing i can't make up if i keep up with my writing journal, grammer homework, and whatever other assignments she has us turn in, along with tests, etc.

my favorite uncle is getting close to passing away. he's terminal with cancer, and lately he's been having more and more issues. headaches have been becoming more and more frequently as of recent, and we should be getting news about whether or not his cancer has spread to his brain. preliminary findings show that it hasn't! i've been very worried about him a lot the past couple weeks, and i finally broke down and asked the elders when they called this past monday to confirm again the FHE time, if they could come just a little earlier as i wanted a blessing of comfort. it's unbelievable how much better i feel and how much my outlook on life has improved. that same night, i slept the best that i have in over a month! after FHE was over, i went back into the same little side parlor and sat into the chair that the elders had me in when they gave me a blessing, and just read my scriptures. it was like i was hungry to keep reading! most importantly, i've been able to feel the Spirit more consistantly ever since they blessed me. that hasn't happened for a while. i forgot how much of a precious companion the Holy Ghost is, and i can truly say that i've missed feeling its presence and influence beyond measure :)

another post to come later this afternoon/evening. i'm heading home after a JOB INTERVIEW!!! at 3:30 to clean the upstairs of the house at home in preparation for OOS (out of state) family flying in next week. also, general conference is this weekend!!! i'm hoping i can make it to the chapel to watch. if not, i know i also have the option to view it live online :)

cleaning

boy...this past week has been beyond stressful....hopefully things will calm down soon :)

as i'm typing this, it's half rainy and cold outside. i soon have to venture out and drive to the post office and get the mail :( i think today may be a good day to finish typing up my cleaning list and put in some elbow grease on cleaning my room. i'm hoping to get rid of a lot of stuff, mainly anything i haven't used in a year or less. with the stuff that i decide to get rid of or donate, i'm going to see what portion i can list online, and what doesn't sell fairly soon i'll donate.

i'm starting to miss being at college. not only for having my own space and not having to worry so much about my family fighting, but just being with my friends and everything. soon enough i'll go back though :)

i'll post some cute pictures later today. have a good thursday everyone!

the power of forgiveness

forgiveness...what an interesting thing. here's an interesting quote i found out of the manual the Relief Society (group for women in the church ages 18 and older), Teachings of Presidents of the Church - Joseph Smith on page 392:

"One of the most pleasing scenes that can occur on earth, when a sin has been committed by one person against another, is, to forgive that sin; and then according to the sublime and perfect pattern of the Savior, pray to our Father in heaven to forgive [the sinner] also" -originally found in A History of the Church 6:245

i've just been learning lately that not being able to forgive someone is/can be a form of sin, especially after the other person has repented of their issue and has begun/tried to make restitution. as i was reading through the lesson the RS went through on sunday during our meeting, a thought went through my mind that really had me think, and still is.

about early 2006, my next door neighbor peeked in our bathroom window one late evening when i was preparing to take my shower before bedtime. as i sat on our toliet seat taking my socks off before i got in, i looked over at the window and saw his face close to the screen...watching me. i screamed, slammed the window shut, and ran out crying to my mom. we called the police, etc..he was originally on house arrest as part of his sentence from a previous DUI charge in the next county over. however, his parole officer didn't even bother herself to come down to his house, and measure the different distances so his ankle bracelet could be programmed. that's how he was able to come onto our property and peek in on me in the bathroom. the window wasn't even open anymore than 4-5 inches!

ever since then, i've struggled a lot to even begin to forgive him for what he did to me. i'll still a little afraid to go into the bathroom late at night, or even early evening or any other time of day, and still push the window down shut, put a towel over the entire window and OVER the curtain, etc. sometimes i even have to step into the shower completely dressed, undress inside the shower and throw my clothes out by the edge of the tub...

so, that lesson yesterday in RS started making me think again about that. a sister also added to the conversation that she still has trouble forgiving her father for some things he does to her, etc. and it's still a struggle for her. that made me feel almost normal. i know this will be something i'll need to work on until i can forgive this neighbor, and after so long, i'll have to pray to Heavenly Father and just put it in His hands in order to fully move on...

taking one step at a time....all i can do is give my best :)