a meeting with the bishop

Well, I've finally heard back from our Stake President about going for my endowment. The bishop met with me in his office last Sunday (the 10th) and we had a good talk. President Talley thinks that I am ready, but would feel more comfortable if I would wait just 9-12 months more before he'll let me go without any question. The Bishop had known the answer for almost a month, but was having a difficult time figuring out how to let me know so that I wouldn't be upset, as he knows how much I really want to go. I put up a good face for the rest of the meeting, but once I got in my car to begin the drive home, I broke down. I have been wanting this so much, and I felt for a few moments like I was purposefully being kept from the temple just because I wasn't either getting ready to be married or going on a mission. I was a little depressed for the rest of the day, but as I climbed into bed and was laying there relaxing, I had a thought. I wasn't being told that I was not allowed to go or was being kept from going, in fact it was the complete opposite. They are letting me go! I can still go to do baptisms and confirmations for the dead, and can begin participating in the rest of the temple ordinances in just 9-12 months! I was also given more time to be able to do a few more things, like lose weight, run a 5K, finish learning how to sew so I could possibly sew my own temple dress, etc. I felt a little more at ease. I do sometimes get a little sad, but try to think about the positives and keep moving forward.

So, that's where I'm at now. It's not the optimal place I was hoping for, but I'm here, and that's what matters, right? :)

Back Once Again

Hmm...I guess I need some kind of permanent fixture attached to my body or something to remind me that I actually HAVE a blog :D Sorry guys!

So far, life has been fairly good this summer. I'm still looking for a job, and it's almost the middle of July, so it looks like the chances of getting one before I move back onto campus before Band Camp starts are quickly dwindling. We've also been having issues off and on with my car, which is never fun. Right now, we're going to be needing a new muffler, the engine and transmission coolant flushes, and to see why my "check engine" light keeps coming on. Yuck!!

Church has been going well also. I met my 2 year anniversary on June 20th/21st, which was exciting. Right now, I'm now the Nursery Leader and also the ward's Young Single Adult Representative to the Akron OH Stake. I'm truly blessed to have both callings, and to also be a Visiting Teacher to two wonderful ladies. I'm still not used to doing Visiting Teaching, and one of my major weaknesses the past couple of months is making sure that I actually REMEMBER to do it, but it's a good thing that the ladies are forgiving. A really good thing, haha. I've got some great ideas in motion for this month's little kit I'll be giving to them with the message and everything, which will be somewhat of a challenge. It's on coming to the temple and claiming its blessings. The first sister I teach is older, married/sealed in the temple, and is also the ward's temple coordinator!! I think when I go to see her, that it'll be more a visit discussing the blessings that the temple offers, what role they play in our lives, and how we can always keep the spirit of the blessings and covenants that we make with the Lord within those walls with us at all times. The second sister I have is a cute lady. Her and her husband are also coverts to the Church, joining a short time after I was baptized. He currently holds the Aaronic Priesthood, and they both have different callings in the ward. They have not yet been through the temple for their Endowments and to be sealed to each other. This one will be a little easier for me to handle, that's for sure, but I know it'll have its challenges as well.

I've been feeling a bit down the past couple of days. The YSA Branch in the stake is going to the Hill Cumorah Pageant this Friday and Saturday. I've been doing everything I can and making the sacrifices I had to make in order to go. However, it now appears that I'm not going to be able to go after all. Since my car is having such issues, I don't feel comfortable driving it that far away from home in the event that it would break down and I'd have to be towed. So far, no one from the branch is able to come pick me up that morning: the Senior Missionaries that teach CES Institute classes, the Branch RS President, and the Elder Quorum's leaders all have things they have to be at the Branch to do immediately before we leave, so they can't come get me. No other YSA in my ward are going, and I don't think that the ones from the nearby Ashland Branch are going either. I've contacted Ward Family and have offered to provide compensation, but nothing yet. I've even looked at taking the MegaBus to NY and then just finding a way to get to Palmyra, and getting back on the MegaBus to come back to OH - but the bad news is that I'd have to get to Akron for that as well. I'm just super frustrated right now...the past year or so, especially the past couple of months, I've done a lot for people and have cheerily assisted them without any expectation of help in return and without asking any questions, but now that I'm in need....I'm left all alone. It hurts. It hurts a lot. But I know that I just have to pick myself up and keep going and be grateful for what I do have. But...just...for once, I'd like to scream out at the top of my lungs and ask WHY????

The family situation with me and Church life has ALSO been slowly improving, for which I really am thankful and blessed for. The exact way things have come to get better is saved for a different post, just since it is such a delicate situation and it'd take a lot to explain, but my mom and I had a good conversation, and the result is I'm now able to go to Church and other Church-related activities without too much issue, just as long as I'm a little more forthcoming and tell them where I'm going...and mom's agreed to keep the questions and giving-me-crap to a minimum. I'm FINALLY starting to be able to relax a little, which has been so.darn.nice. It's also enabled me to be more supportive of my mom as she gets ready to start taking confirmation classes for the Catholic Church, or RCIA, in September. While it's not exactly what I want, I still have to be happy and give her my support. Who knows, maybe even one day, we'll be able to go to each other's church once a month! :)

Well, enough for now. I've felt like I've written a book as it is. Plus, I need to start cleaning in the kitchen and finish up what I started in both of our bathrooms here at home. Until later!! :)